Dave: When I go over the “sphere of influence” exercise during my school, I explain that it is the most important marketing exercise you will ever accomplish. It is here that you will move from cold calling and purchasing leads to imitating the actions of top producers who have huge referral bases. It is in the analysis of the eight groups that we need to understand our marketing approach and the prioritization of our marketing actions. We do know that our most effective targets are those with whom we have the closest relationship and those who have the highest concentration of business. The personal category is the strongest relationship category.

With every marketing action, you will encounter objections. And these objections will provide ammunition to feed certain types of call reluctance. The reluctance to call on those close to us is very strong—for several reasons. Above, you have quoted one of these objections. So, what is the solution?

First, do not use it as an excuse not to call. One rule of overcoming objections is to understand that you will not sell everyone. If a family member is reticent—do not argue—move on the next one. For everyone who is reticent—there is another who will prefer not to deal with a stranger. Plus, some companies prohibit you from originating loans for close family members, but that does not mean that you can’t refer them to someone at your organization.

Second, add value in such a way that will demonstrate your expertise. The purpose of my school is to help you become an expert. Experts are respected and are more likely to be sought out for advice—and your family and friends will be no exception. Do not go to them “begging for loans.” Give them articles and newsletters and advice. Offer to help them solve financial problems. When you come across as a professional and expert, they will be more comfortable. It is said that doctors should not treat those close to them. But if your brother was the top cardiologist in the nation, would you go to anyone else? And why would they be more comfortable giving their personal information to a complete stranger? 

Dave Hershman is Senior VP of Sales of Weichert Financial and the top author in the mortgage industry. Dave has published seven books, as well as hundreds of articles and is the founder of the OriginationPro Marketing System and Mortgage School – the online choice for expert mortgage learning and marketing content. His site is www.OriginationPro.com and he can be reached at This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it..