[caption id="attachment_9654" align="alignright" width="268"] Dave Hershman[/caption]

Peter from Philly recently asked: Everyone keeps telling me that I should ask for referrals from my borrowers. I always do after the loan closes, yet I rarely get referrals even though my service is great. What could I be doing wrong?

I previously wrote about the timing of asking for referrals and putting yourself in a more comfortable position to ask. Now, let's address what to say when asking for referrals.

The first rule is that you must be specific. A statement such as "do you have someone to refer to me" is way too broad. You must get specific about what situations you are looking for: "do you know anyone thinking about purchasing a home? Do you know a good accountant?"

You must also get specific about their pool of referrals: friends, family members, neighbors, coworkers. Prompt them to think as you cannot expect them to know where the opportunities are likely to exist.

The second point is to talk in their language. Even the word "referral" constitutes a business conversation. Many of your referral sources may not be savvy business people. Thus, you may have to come up with more generic language.

For example, you can say "I make my living from referrals," but that is way too much of a "me" statement for many and it is what makes many uncomfortable asking. A softer approach would be to offer help. "Do you know anyone else who is thinking of purchasing a home that I can help?"

After all, aren't you in the business to help people? While the result may be the same, I find that many are more comfortable offering to help rather than making the direct referral question.

From a consumer point of view, you can also see how someone would react more positively when you offer to help one of their friends, family members or associates. Compare that to asking for a referral that will help foster your business. A clear distinction.

Dave Hershman is Senior VP of Sales of Weichert Financial and the top author in the mortgage industry. Dave has published seven books, as well as hundreds of articles and is the founder of the OriginationPro Marketing System and Mortgage School – the online choice for expert mortgage learning and marketing content. His site is www.OriginationPro.com and he can be reached at This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it..